Small Victories

I've almost finished my first "year" as a youth theatre instructor. I started back in September and my last class is on Friday--it's been a real challenge at times but it's also turned out to be an intensely rich and rewarding experience.
I teach two classes: One for first through third grade, and one for fourth through sixth.

I really had a hard time at first with my older class because I was stepping in as a pseudo replacement teacher--I say pseudo because I wasn't really replacing him per se, he was still around but only came by to teach once or twice during the first semester.
This did not sit well with the kids. They loved him! (and for good reason too, he is a fantastic teacher and is super good with the kids) In their eyes I could never possibly measure up.
At first I was just pissed. I had at least three kids come up to me every class and ask "where was Josh?", and "when was he coming back?" On the exterior I was cool as a cucumber as I would tell them that I did not know, but that perhaps next week he would be there. On the inside I was a little hurt to be honest that these kids didn't seem to want to give me a chance.
Then came the "That's not how Josh did it" and "Josh would have let us do this" etc.

In any case, the transition was perhaps most difficult for a child that for the sake of anonymity we'll just call "John".
Let me back up, John wasn't in class during my first week of teaching and I thought
"Wow, this class is great! They are so well behaved! This is going to be easier than I thought!"
The second week, John shows up and all hell breaks loose.
It was like throwing a firecracker in to a barrel of gunpowder. This kid was a serious instigator of chaos. He would crack inappropriate jokes in the middle of our lessons and send the class into hysterics. Sometimes he would refuse to participate in class activities or exercises, preferring instead to lie on the ground in the middle of the room or yell out distracting comments. Often, he'd make snide or downright mean remarks about other kids in front of everyone else and cause some real commotion. Not conducive to a good learning environment especially when the kids are learning to put themselves on the line as performers.
And to make mattters worse, John made it very clear to me that he did not respect me and was just waiting until Josh came back.

Long story short, I've worked really hard all year to try to make each child in the class feel like they are valued. I've tried my best to be patient and be sensitive to the individual needs of each child. And I think it's paid off!

It helped immensely that Josh came back to co-teach during the second semester. He is great to work with and it helped the kids to see that we were really all on the same page and on the same team.

Our final show of the year was tonight, and after the performance, John came and found me and gave me a hug. That meant a lot to me.

He is a great kid who I think faces some unique challenges, but has a lot of great talent and underneath he's got a heart of gold. I think we've come to understand and respect one another over the course of the year and I would love to have him in my class again. I never thought I'd say that. I think we've both grown a lot.

It's the little things like that that make me wonder if I shouldn't go in to teaching.